I've been hit by the big "I"

I knew it was going to happen sooner or later.  I was hoping for later.  Preferably much later, like after I've finished both marathons by the middle of May and I can happily contemplate not running for a month.

I did not want it to happen with two half marathons left to run and 92 days left until the big 26.2 in London.

Unfortunately though, over the last week, I've been aware of a niggling pain that was only present when I ran, and this morning it's gone and shown itself as an injury.  I've not been injured for about 8 months I think, since I had some problems with my hip, which a few sessions of physio and strength training fixed.  I ran through that one and got better, so I'm hoping this one is minor and I can get over it in a couple of days...always the optimist ;)

At 1.5miles into my run this morning (after pushing through a dull aching pain from the start that I figured would go away if I kept at it) I found myself pulling up after an acute pain ran through my lower calf muscle, radiating out across my lower leg...a bit like I imagine it would feel to be stabbed.  After the initial pain wore off, I gave it a rub, did a bit of stretching, prayed to all the gods I don't believe in, and tried to run a bit more.  Unfortunately, I was limping, I couldn't get faster than a jog, and every few paces, the stabbing came back, which buckled my leg.  I gave up and hobbled home :(

Once home, I grabbed the frozen peas and iced for twenty minutes, and am now wearing a compression bandage.  The pain seems to have gone now and I can walk absolutely fine, but I'm worried in case it comes back when I next run - I have no idea of the cause or what it is that's damaged, but I'll rest tomorrow.  I do really wanted to get my long run in on Sunday but will just see how it goes - at the moment, I'm very unsure as to what the next week's training is going to be like!

I'll run later...

I woke up two hours late this morning...yep, that's right...two whole hours!  Not quite sure how I managed to ignore my klaxon of an alarm clock, but seems I did.  So, no time for a run for me this morning.

I spent all day saying to myself that I'd have to go for a run in the evening when I got home from work, but 90% of the time I've said that in the past I've never done it.  Put me on a sofa and you've lost me!  Even once I got home at 8pm, I kept saying that I was going for a run later...but in the back of my mind I wasn't sure I believed myself.  But yes, I'll go later...after I've checked Twitter...after I've watched the recorded Glee from last night...after dinner....

Then, when later rolled around (about 9.40pm) I found myself getting ready, and come 10pm I was actually out on the road, running!  Although I only did 4.5 miles, it was an interval session, it was hard, and now I'm feeling very, very pleased with myself :D

A very good start to the year

I'm feeling (a little bit) like a new person.

The last week has gone so well, and I'm now feeling really motivated, enthusiastic, and a bit slimmer too (over half a stone according to the scales!).

The training has been going really well, and despite having a cold this week, I've been up at 5.30am each morning I've intended to be, and finished a decent paced 10 mile run yesterday. The 10 miler was challenging too because there were many opportunities to shorten my route and head home, and I had to struggle with myself to keep going and follow the long way round, but go the long way round I went, I achieved my 10 miles and am feeling very pleased with myself ;)

I've also managed to overhaul my diet as and that was always going to be the hardest thing for me to achieve.  This time though, I've really approached the "healthy eating" resolution differently to the many times I've tried before - this time it isn't about losing weight, it's about fuelling myself.  Giving my body all the nutrients it needs to function properly, and to help me run to my potential.  I've made a lot of changes, but my new way of eating includes lots of fruit and salad, two servings of dairy every day, some seafood instead of chicken all the time, upping my water intake to hydrate myself, the odd smoothie, and reducing the very frequent indulgence in chocolate and cake! 

I think the key to this that will keep me on the right track though is that I haven't actually cut anything out.  We had fish and chips from the chippy on Friday night because that's what we do every week and I always really enjoy it.  I had some chocolate when friends came over on Saturday and when I was feeling peckish last night after a healthy dinner of a lovely bean and lentil soup, I quite happily had a slice of the cake that's left over from Christmas.  But they were the only occasions I treated myself, and to be honest, that was enough.  I'm also keeping in mind the Runner's World tips for weight loss - adding the cinnamon to a yogurt to boost your metabolism is my favourite - and hopefully that will help too!

The scales confirmed just how poor my Christmas diet had been but have rewarded me with a massive weight loss this week, although sure that will slow down over the month.  

BUT....I know that I mustn't get too carried away with the whole dieting thing.  

As a runner, my energy needs are far in excess of someone with a more sedentary lifestyle, and the carbs I consume are still really important.  A bowl of cereal every morning and healthy carbs with most meals is something I just couldn't function without and no amount of weight loss would be worth reducing my energy and ability to run.  As I said, everything I'm doing at the moment is concentrating on me becoming a better runner...not about showing off my ribcage ;)

Inspiring post about depression & running from Charlie Dark

What follows below is an amazing blog post from Charlie Dark, a musician (and runner) I follow on twitter (his twitter ID is @daddydark) which I thought deserved sharing in it's entirety, about running, depression, and what it all means for him.

http://schoolofdark.tumblr.com/post/2618387244/ran-like-a-cheetah-with-thoughts-of-an-assassin

"Yesterday saw the first RUNDem Crew gathering of the new year and a return to our new home from home the mysterious Mile End Stadium.  Situated about two to three miles east of the Nike 1948 sport it's a track in the middle of a park in the arse end of East London but it rocks and is most definitely one of London's best kept secrets.  This post however is not about the track or Run Dem Crew or any of the usual stuff that preoccupies my time these days.  It is however running related so if you find that boring then come back next week when normal random service resumes.

There have not been many bright moments in my life over the past decade and anyone who really knows me well outside of talking to me on twitter, dancing to a record I made or played or listened to my poems will know that I suffer from depression and have done for the best part of my life. I keep it well hidden but it manifests itself in weird ways and has a tendency to rear it’s head at strange and often inappropriate moments. On paper my life is pretty sorted with all of the trappings that come with hard work, passion and a thirst for keeping things moving. I’m lucky and consistently thank the spirits above for keeping me safe in this minefield we call life but as rapper Nas once remarked on the classic banger Whose World Is This ‘I need a new N*gga for this black cloud to follow because while it’s over me it’s too dark to see tomorrow’

My initial reason for taking up running was to improve my cardio and loose a few pounds before embarking on a national tour with my one man show ‘Have Box Will Travel’. Seeing as I was playing about twenty different characters and being directed by the ever energetic Benji Reid I needed something to ensure I was going to survive a year of hour long shows with mucho jumping about and physicality. Football meant the organising of flaky friends and I had no cash for the gym so running it was. What I never expected to find was the mental side of running and as a man who has never liked taking medication I was more than happy to swop the ‘happy pills’ for a more holistic approach to depression management. The buzz of being outside in the open air devoid of mobile phone and any responsibilities was a blessing I shall never forget. But then the running became a job and with the success of the Run Dem Crew suddenly this private thing that I used as a way of escaping the world suddenly brought it’s own pressures. In a nutshell back to square one but this time stubbornly refusing to seek help or go back on medication again. I just don’t like the thought of taking a pill and waiting for my mood to lighten knowing that to work it’s magic it’s playing camera tricks with my brain. 

In 2010 I met four people who I can safely say changed my life around for the better and helped me chase away a particularly large dark cloud that had been following me around for the best part of the year. They know who they are so need no mentions here but despite their love, advice and encouragement the final part of the jigsaw was still not falling into place. Deep down I still felt slightly empty with a big hole where my heart should have been.

When you get to my age and position it’s difficult to find anyone willing to share your woes with. In general people just think you are moaning or ungrateful for the cards you have been dealt and it can be a lonely world dealing with the demons all by yourself. So I run for the endorphin rush that chases the clouds away and when that doesnt work I run harder.

In the tail end of last year I signed up to run the London Marathon and set myself some new targets of a PB of 3.45 and a sub 1.45 half marathon. In order to achieve these times it dawned on me that I ‘d need to really buckle down to training and completely overhaul my approach to food and what I put into my body. I’d never thought of my body as a machine before but through research I’ve concluded that everything I put into my body will have an effect on how I run on the day of the marathon therefore it’s time to fix up and start eating properly.

Food and my body have always had a perculiar relationship, as a child I was mad skinny and the butt of many a joke and even my family were on my case about my lack of weight. Once I left home I just started eating nonsense in a bid to put on weight and believe me it worked it a big way. I was never crazy overweight but I was definitely carrying a little hand bag around my middle.

Anyway enough of the back in the day stories, with a new year dawning many people are making resolutions to hit the park and get fit . Being three years ahead of the pack my fitness is already there so the question is what next. The whole diet and intensive training schedule has been freaking people out with regular questioning of why I’ve got so hardcore of recent on the running. The answer is a simple why not? I just want to know how fast I can go with the correct preparation. Contrary to popular belief I am not obsessed or losing my mind.  Instead running has replaced a whole heap of other forms of expression for me. I used to live for the DJ moment, loved making beats in the studio and collecting sneakers like a millipede. I figured that if I could rock a crowd with a mic or a turntable then I could be a someone but somewhere along the line it just didn’t seem as important to me anymore.

Running is the only thing I have in my life that I am in control of. I am no longer at the mercy of how good the records are that I play or how a poem is received . If I have a bad run it’s because I didn’t prepare myself appropriately but if I have a great run I know it’s because I gave it my all and really pushed myself to cross the finish line. On Tuesday evening I ran with Run Dem Crew and ran the best run of my life, 7 miles dead with a target pace of sub 7 and a half minute miles which is exactly what I have been training to achieve. Indeed the best legal high I have ever experienced and a far safer option than being described ‘Happy pills’ by the doctor. For the first time in a long while I felt free and unburdened by pressure. I wasn’t running away from life but running towards my future with a smile on my face and chasing upside down rainbows. All in all a great start to the year and a definite highlight for the targets ahead.

To be honest I’ve got no idea why I’m telling you this but I just felt it was something to be shared. So if you want to know why I run I’ll simply say this.

I run for the challenge

To remind myself that I am not immortal

For the moment of indecision when you body wills you to stop and your mind wonders if it can carry on

I run for those who will never be free

I’m not running from my past I’m running towards a future where the black clouds can’t follow

But most of all I’m running for me

Over and Out Charlie Dark"

I can't accept that I'm ill

It's been coming for a few days now, but this morning I woke up to find my body was trying to tell me that I'm ill.  I ignored it, and went for a run anyway, and actually got on pretty well.  I got up to a decent pace, stopped sneezing for the duration, although my nose was still streaming, but as I'm perfectly capable of breathing through my mouth I got on ok ;)

A couple of hours later though, I'm starting to feel really quite awful.  This is not good!

After a lazy Christmas, I just can not afford to have any more time off from training.  I'm sensible enough to know that if the virus or whatever it is i've got moves to my lungs then I have to have a break, but unless it gets to that, I have to just keep going and make sure every session counts in case I do get really ill. I had bronchitis a month before my last marathon attempt and sure that's partially to blame for my terrible time.  I do hope it doesn't happen again - the London marathon is in 100 days!