The return from injury

It’s been a good week in terms of my injury, recovery and getting back to running.

Although most of the swelling and pain had resolved in my leg and ankle, I went for an MRI last week, as Tessa, my physio, wanted to rule out a stress fracture before I started running again and did any permanent damage. Luckily, the MRI report came through this week "all clear" – a little residual swelling in the tendons in my ankle, but nothing to worry about, and no stress fracture, and so along with a prescription for lots of strength work and stretching, Tessa sent me away from our appointment on Wednesday with her blessing to gradually start running again. I was over the moon.

So far I have run twice, 3 miles each time.

Each run was VERY hard, much harder than I thought it would be. I knew I’d be slow, but I felt like I was running through treacle and it felt incredibly unnatural.  Despite that, though, I can’t quite describe how brilliant it was to be able to run again…I could feel my mental health improving as I laced up my trainers to go out!! I really have missed being a runner for this last month (yep, it was 30 days of not running…not that I was counting!) and I think Francis is also relieved that running as he could tell how stir-crazy I was getting!

So, now that I’ve got over the initial euphoria of actually being able to run again, I have to come to terms with the effects of taking a month off.

I have lost a lot of cardio fitness, and I’ve put on a lot of weight, both through lack of exercise and massively over-eating. I’m feeling like it’s going to take me a long time to get back to where I was fitness-wise, to get my eating under control again, and then to lose some weight.

I’ve just been looking through and editing my training plan, and think I have to accept that not only am I going to have to pull out of the three races (a marathon and a 30 miler on one day, and a 52.4miler on another) that I had booked for July, I doubt I’m going to be in a position to run the 100km race that I have scheduled for September. Realistically, I think my first marathon distance might be Berlin. That is a very bitter pill to take – but I don’t want to be injured again and trying to come back too soon will just lead to DNFs which I really want to avoid.  I’ll still be a part of the events, and go along to cheer for everyone like I did at the Kent Roadrunner this year (which was an awesome experience) and maybe marshal at the 100km, but I don’t think I can run them.

So there we go. Now to start getting back. The training plan is written – I’ve got a four mile run scheduled for tonight and a five mile run on Sunday – but it looks very different to the plans I’m used to - the runs are all so much shorter than they’ve been for the last year or so, but that’s what I need. The other thing I have to do is sort out my nutrition and my weight. I’ve been trying to control myself and resolve my over-eating for the last month but have failed miserably. I need some level of accountability because at the moment, my weight is rising on a daily basis, and it’s just going to make getting back to full fitness so much harder if I don’t get this under control.   

31 races in the last 12 months & I wonder why I'm injured

This is my fourth week of not being able to run. I have an MRI scan scheduled this Friday, and although my leg and ankle are feeling much better than they did, unfortunately my ankle is still constantly painful and I know I'm not ready to run yet.

It is hugely affecting my mood, and the evenings (when I used to go for my run) are particularly hard as I find myself bored and fidgety, unable to settle on anything. I had some advise yesterday on twitter about how to get through this time, from the lovely Sue Albiston, including the suggestion to write about what I've achieved so far.

So....that's what I'm going to do, a quick review of the last 12 months:-

I started June 2012 with a total of 8 marathons to my name, three of which I'd run since the beginning of the year, three in 2011, one in 2010 and one in 2008. I was in good shape, having run my marathon PB of 3:49 at Brighton in April 2012, and I was getting ready to take my running to the next level - to start running ultras!

In July 2012, I ran my first ultra - a 30 mile race - which was also my first Engima event - and followed that up a couple of weeks later with my first 52.4 mile race at Challenge Hub down in Kent, which I finished in 10hrs 41mins. They went incredibly well, and I absolutely loved the experience of both...I knew I was hooked!!

In September, I took part in my first multi-day event, The Toad, where I ran 90 miles over three days along the Thames Path. Again, it was a fantastic event, unlike anything I'd ever done before, and I really enjoyed myself, finished as 4th lady, and in the back of my mind, I knew this was good training for the 10in10 which was fast approaching!

October was a pretty special month - Francis and I went on holiday to Croatia...and came back engaged!! I'd never been so happy, and soon found myself planning the wedding. The running continued though, and October also saw me take part in the inaugural Stort 30 - a great race but with a very small female field as it was a new event, and so I managed to finish as first lady. I was absolutely over the moon.

I ran another couple of marathons in November and December, as well as various other races of shorter distances, until training really started in January for May's Brathay 10in10.

In the 4.5 months, between the beginning of 2013 and the start of the 10in10, I ran a half marathon, a 20 miler, 5 marathons, and a brilliant 45 mile ultra (the first time I'd had to really navigate a route that wasn't well signed, and also had to use a torch as we were running in the dark). I was so proud of myself for finishing that race - I finally felt I could really call myself an ultra runner. I also fitted in getting married and going on honeymoon!!! It was a wonderful, and very busy time :D

Then in May, less than a year after my first ever ultra - I ran 10 marathons in 10 days.

It's funny, writing all that down....it does seem that I have really come a ridiculously long way in 12 months! I don't think I realised.

I've just gone through and added up all of the events I took part in between June 2012 and May 2013: 31 races in the last 12 months, of which 25 were marathons or ultras.  For lots of people I know, that's not actually that unusual, or even that much (I'm friends with a very special group of people!) but comparing it to the 12 months before that, from June 2011 to May 2012, when I ran a total of 16 races of which just 4 were marathons, it's a massive leap.

So, I'm going to make a real effort to remember just how much I've achieved in such a short space of time and to just go with this enforced rest period for as long as I need to.  But you know what, I can't wait to get back to it....there's so much more I want to do.

Put down the jaffa cakes!

I’ve now reached day 11 of injury...of not running, not exercising & eating everything in sight…including all the crisps, chocolate, flapjacks and jaffa cakes I can get my hands on. It’s like I’m still eating to fuel myself through an ultra a day, never mind a marathon, and I know it's comfort eating of the worst kind.

I feel like I’m slowly going insane and although I’m not weighing myself these days so don’t know how much I weighed when I started, I must have put on half a stone. My jeans certainly feel like I have!

Now, although I can’t run, or cycle, or really walk, that’s not to say I have to let my health & fitness go completely out the window and today I’m determined to stop feeling so sorry for myself and get a grip. Just because I can’t exercise at the moment, I can still focus on my nutrition.  If I can get back to some sort of normality with my eating, and stop putting on loads of weight, and actually lose some, when I do start running again, I’m not going to be trying to shift quite so many lbs around! It'll be like taking off a full rucksack ;)

The other thing that has prompted me to try and sort myself out and get ready for when my injury heals is that yesterday the date of the next Thames Path 100 miler was announced (3^rd May 2014) as was the date that you can enter (29^th June 2013).

Although I’ve talked a lot about trying a 100 miler next year, recently I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s too soon and maybe I should wait a few years until I try what, for me, is the ultimate distance to run all in one go. (The 145 miles of the GUCR is just a bit too incredible and not on my bucket list). However, as soon as the notification came out from Centurion about the dates for the TP100, I got very excited. I realised that this is definitely something I want to do, and know it's got to be my next challenge – at 10am on June 29^th, I’m going to be sat in front of the computer trying to get my application in before everyone else!

I want to give myself as much of a chance as I can though, and carrying so much extra weight when I run really can’t be good for me – who knows, if I was a stone or so lighter, maybe running the 10in10 would have left me injury-free?! So, nutrition it is. Healthy, balanced and normal is what I’m aiming for and hopefully once I can start doing some cardio again (swimming and cycling probably, before I can run) the weight-loss will sort itself out. I’ve got the 100km race in September, which my physio (at the moment) still thinks is feasible, and that will give me a really good yardstick for the training I’m going to need to do to get ready for May 2014!

Every runner's nightmare

Injury.

Although I’ve had quite a few painful niggles before, a bit of tendinitis, over-use stuff, I’ve never suffered with a real injury. Until now.

I’m classing this as a real injury above the other problems I’ve had before because there is a barely a minute of the day that goes by without some level of pain or discomfort. Because I can’t walk (hobble) for more than 10 minutes without more serious levels of pain developing. Because I am somewhat debilitated and I know I can’t run. Because my physio, Tessa, told me it’s an injury.

On Thursday, I went to see Tessa with my lower leg and ankle swollen up beyond recognition, in lots of pain, with limited movement in my ankle and particularly in my big-toe which was seemingly paralysed, and massively limping. She examined me, massaged, manipulated, and diagnosed me with anterior compartment syndrome. She said I needed to RICE, to avoid alcohol, and if it got worse, to go to A&E, but otherwise to come back and see her after the weekend. She also gave me exercises to do too, to try and regain some level of movement.

So, I RICEd.  I didn’t dance at my friend’s wedding, at work I sat with my leg up on a stool at my desk, and at home I sat on the sofa with my leg up on the coffee table. I iced with special ice packs that Francis had bought me, and I compressed with new socks that I’d bought, because my compression socks wouldn't fit over my swollen foot.

And so the swelling went down. Today, Tuesday, was my return visit to Tessa. The swelling has reduced so much I can wear my normal compression socks and I can walk with only a minimal limp. My ankle moves a fair bit more than it did, and although my foot, ankle and leg are still painful, everything feels better than last week. I'm even able to move my big toe a bit. This meant that I was expecting her to say, well done, it’s improving much more than expected, you’ll probably be able to run by next week.

What I wasn’t expecting to hear was that she hadn’t wanted to give me the full picture on my first visit in case it freaked me out, and she wanted to see what the damage was like when the swelling had gone down. She said that I had to prepare myself that if it didn’t improve a lot more over the next week or so, there was a chance it could be also be a stress fracture and I’d need to go for a scan and even if there isn’t a stress fracture, it’s very unlikely that I’m going to be ready in time to run the two 50-odd mile races that I’ve got scheduled for July. She’s pleased with progress, but as it turns out, it is a serious injury and it’s going to take time to heal.

Now I have to start coming to terms with the idea that I could be out of the running game for more than another week or so. This could be quite a long lay-off…counted in weeks or months instead of days.

I’m still totally in denial about it, and in the back of my mind, I’m still pretty sure that she’s overreacting, and that by next week it’ll be 100 times better, and she’ll be very surprised, and suggest I go for an easy couple of miles. But I’m telling people what she said because the more I talk about it, and the more people I tell, the more real it is, and hopefully the shock will be less each morning that I wake up and find the pain still hasn’t gone and I still can’t run.

One week on & inspiration from the GUCR

This time last week, I was still at Brathay Hall, enjoying the amazing last meal with the rest of Team 10in10 2013, celebrating the completion of the 10in10, and feeling absolutely over the moon about everything.

A week later, and things are very different. I'm home again with Francis, which is lovely - being apart from him for so long was very strange - but I miss everyone in the Brathay family, hugely. I've found it very difficult to get back into the swing of things at work - I've been too tired and just not interested to be honest and could have really done with taking the week off, rather than just the Monday.

I'm injured too. Diagnosed with anterior compartment syndrome and up until about three hours ago, I couldn't move my big toe at all. Luckily, it's responding well - I can now bend my big toe, although still not lift it, and my ankle/lower leg no longer resembles the elephant man's and it's much less serious than it was when I saw the physio on Thursday..."if it gets any worse over the weekend" she said, "you need to go to A&E" but it's still not fun.

We went to a good friend's wedding yesterday and instead of getting up for a dance at the reception I was sat down at the side of the room watching everyone else. Hey ho. I don't know how long it's going to take to fully recover from, or to regain full movement in my ankle and toe, but I'm certainly not going to be able to run the marathon that I had booked for next weekend! In fact, I may well have a few weeks ahead of me before I can run, but I'm trying not to consider that.

However, I am still overwhelmed at the achievement, and very proud of myself for completing the 10in10 even  if I do sound a bit down about everything.

Keeping in touch with everyone else on Facebook helps, as does trawling through the hundreds of photos and watching the video diaries. I can totally understand why so many previous 10in10ers return to Brathay and although I'll not be applying to do the 10in10 again in 2014, I do want to return next year to run the Windermere Marathon on the last day, and hope to convince Francis that we'll go up for a long weekend. I expect I will apply to do another 10in10 one day. If it wasn't for the fundraising element of the process, I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but think I'll need to leave it a few years before I ask people to put their hands in their pockets again - everyone was so generous that I don't want to take advantage of that.

***As I write this, I've seen on my Facebook feed that Mimi Anderson has just completed her DOUBLE Grand Union Canal Race...290 miles. She ran up to Birmingham non-stop, in 31hrs 50mins and then the next day, she ran back to London as part of the GUCR event in 36hrs 49mins. She is a truly amazing woman...Marvellous Mimi indeed!!

My thoughts also turn to the others that I know involved in the GUCR this year who I've been trying to follow this weekend - Jerry, Ellen, Traviss, Lindley, Paul - I can't quite believe I know people who are taking part in such an amazingly challenging event. Then I start thinking of everyone else who has had races or events today. Some amazing performances out there....I'm just so inspired by everyone.

I've done the 10in10 but there's a world of ultra running out there still waiting for me. I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself, still be sensible and rest and recuperate to get over the injury, but then get back in my trainers, and get ready for my next event and stop moping about because one incredible experience is over.

There are many more to come.