"Catch up" It's been busy, now I'm injured, but I have a race tomorrow

I have been a very bad blogger. My last post was at the beginning of November, and since then a lot has happened that I've missed telling you about!

We moved house, and I'm now on the Essex coast. I found moving VERY stressful, but have been exploring new trails and local routes. Lots of my runs are now, inevitably, by the sea but my heart always pulls me back to the woods!

With the structured training I've been doing, as a result of Lindley coaching me, with the hills, tempo runs and intervals, I've actually been getting fitter and faster. Brilliant stuff! All very positive. I've also run a few races in the last couple of months - 4 trail marathons in fact, and a 20 miler:

* The tough Trailscape East marathon - very hilly but beautiful, along the North Downs Way.

* The Kirkstall Abbey marathon, which is a bit of a 10in10 reunion and Brathay fundraising race. There were lots of us there, but this is a photo of those of us who finished at about the same time. Lovely to catch up with everyone.

10in10ers at Kirkstall Abbey Marathon

* The Usual Suspects challenge - 6 hours to run as many or as few laps as you like by the White Cliffs of Dover. A social event more than anything...so many friends there. A medal to treasure for ever too.
 

* The Great Barrow Challenge - three muddy marathons in three days. I only did the first two days...

So, what else has been happening since my last post? Obviously, we've had Christmas and New Year! It was a whirlwind of seeing friends and family, but lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed decorating our new house and eating and drinking far too much!

I've missed out on doing the traditional "review post", although here is my haul from 2015's 10 miler, half marathon, 20 mile, 13 marathons and 12 ultras! I'm very proud of what I achieved last year, particularly of my TP100 and GUCR double!

Oh, and I've managed to pick up an injury. I was signed up for doing all of the days of the Great Barrow Challenge, which is three trail marathons in three days, between Christmas and New Year. They're absolutely brilliant events and was SO looking forward to it. Sadly, on the second day, after a good morning when I was on track for a sub 4:30 on the hilly, muddy, fabulous course, at about mile 19, I suffered a hamstring injury. The pain was so excruciating when I tried to run, that I had to walk the last seven miles back. I considered dropping, but with the really long races I've got coming up, when you never know what's going to happen, walking seven miles with an injury is actually still pretty good training!

As a result of this, while it's been healing, I haven't run a step in 17 days! Yep, 2.5 weeks! It's really not good at all. But it is feeling better than it was and my physio said I could start running again this Saturday to try out my leg and see how it feels. Nothing too strenuous (no running up hills or trying to be fast) but I can give it a go.

Saturday happens to be the day of the Country to Capital 45 mile race that I have a place in - a race I enjoyed so much in 2014. So, I'm going to try out my hamstring there. I know that's not what the physio meant, but if it starts hurting, or cramping, or aching...I'll stop and DNF. I will be sensible. But I have to give it a go....

Loving being a runner again

I've totally fallen back in love with running these last few weeks, and am finding that being coached by Lindley is making a massive difference. The plan he's given me is working and I can feel myself getting fitter - consistent training, hills and doing tempo runs apparently does work!

It's a good job that I'm enjoying running again...

Last night I got a place in the GUCR ballot for 2016! I'm very excited to be running this iconic race again...I made so many mistakes this year (yes, that chafing and blisters from hell!) and really want to try and learn from those and improve my time next year.

Also, I've finally had my tattoo done, at the King of Hearts studio in New Cross...something I've wanted for years! Lou Hopper was the artist. It's not quite finished, and I have another appointment at the studio in a couple of weeks, but as you can see it would be a bit of a mistake if I had already decided I was no longer a runner....

Becoming a different person

Francis and I were talking this evening. I told him, "I got up this morning at 5am!!"
"Did you run?" he asked, totally incredulous.
"Yes, I did, again!"
"You're like a different person..."

I've always struggled with morning running, being far too lazy and happy in my bed to get up early. Even if I've managed it for a couple of days, I've always failed to maintain it, and for the last few months, I've barely been able to drag myself out on night runs either, despite telling Francis throughout every evening that I was on my way. I might sort it out and run for a few days here an there, but then would lapse back into nothing. I felt guilty for not running but couldn't make myself want to go enough to actually do it and have just been lurching from race to race! I felt like I was losing touch with who I was despite desperately fighting to get back to normal. Anyway, I can understand Franc's surprise at my 5am start, and his surprise that I was running again. 

All of a sudden, and for the first time (I think) I have been able to maintain morning runs. I've been following my plan, and we're not just talking about hauling myself out and plodding around - I've concentrated, put in some effort as well as done some sensible easy runs...tomorrow morning I've got another tempo session. It feels different...brilliant...I feel like a real runner again, like myself. I've been rewarded with some beautiful countryside trails, with stunning morning sunshine lighting up the vibrant autumn leaves, with sloshing through rain and mud. My mood generally has drastically improved.

More running = a happier and less stressed me!

So, what happened?

Running Chelmsford marathon a couple of weeks ago was so much harder than it should have been. It was a bit of a wake up call - I realised just how much of an effect not running regularly was having on my race performance, and when I saw the photos of me I realised just how much weight i'd put on too. I was not impressed with myself, especially as I knew that even feeling so disappointed wouldn't make any difference and I still wouldn't be able to make myself do any training. I realised I needed some help and something had to change if I had any chance of doing justice to all the ridiculous races I've entered for next year.

So, I emailed Lindley Chambers from Challenge Running,

I've known Lindley for about three years, have shared some miles with him out on the trail, taken part in lots of his races and he and his other half Maxine looked after me at 120 miles into the Grand Union Canal Race! He's been coaching other runners for a while now, and I thought he might be the man to kick me back into shape and to help me start training again! I've tried coaching before, and it didn't really work for me, but Lindley talked to me in great depth about my running, what I wanted from coaching, how he could help, and how we could make it work. Everything he said made a lot of sense, and so I signed up with Coach Chambers! It really feels very different this time.

Me & Lindley at this year's Saffron Trail

The training plan that Lindley's written for me makes sense, is straightforward, and suits me, and he's agreed not to ask me to cancel my races, but will work with me to help me be the best runner I can while racing as frequently as I do with legs that never really recover! He's been keeping an eye on what I'm doing via my posts on Daily Mile, and has been in very regular contact which was such a motivator for the first few days, and I'm sure will continue to be. I know that if I don't post to say that I've run that morning, he'll be getting in touch to find out why! It's also fantastic to get home after work and not have to worry about having to go for my run because I did it that morning - it's such a relief to have already done it.

So, it seems the wake-up call from Chelmsford, and of course Lindley's guiding influence, is changing me. It's only been a really short time, but out of nowhere I've maintained my commitment to morning runs, rediscovered my enthusiasm and on Sunday had a hugely enjoyable race at the Stort 30 mile event, coincidentally put on by Challenge Running. It helped that I had friends there, that the weather was perfect and the course looked absolutely stunning, but the miles ticked by really quickly and I was disappointed when the race was over. Not sure there are many people who can say that at the end of 30 miles! I was a bit frustrated with my time (5:25) as it was my slowest out of three Stort's I've run - but I know that my pace will start to improve. I love my medal too.

Now I just need to keep the momentum going...but this time I have help. I've been trying for so long to become a better runner and every time I try something new to help my training, I seem to fail after the first blog post! But when I start to lose enthusiasm for the cold and rainy mornings, and I expect I will, I'm confident that this time, Lindley isn't going to let me give up. Maybe this is where my running will really start to get better.

What have I been up to? Uuuum....some running....

It's been ages since my last post (over 10 weeks) and I've completed a few events in that time, so here's a quick update:

The Stour Valley Path 100km.

This is a race that I absolutely loved last year - it's a fantastic route and the marshals and aid stations are exceptional. I did pretty well, and have been looking forward to having another go ever since. The race director, Matt, convinced me to start in the second wave (there's a 7am start and a 9am start) as only people who started later would be eligible for prizes! I was third lady last year, so there was a possibility that would be me. The later start made for a very tough race though - I was a bit out of my depth, not really fast enough. I was chasing cut offs the whole way through, and was being chased by the sweepers.

I managed to fall over at one point and hit my head, giving myself a decent headache and a bit of a black eye which didn't help matters...but I was very well looked after by a fellow runner, who ruined his race time by hanging around with me and making sure I was alright. It's that sort of thing that just goes to show was a brilliant sport this is!

My late start also meant that I finished in the dark, whereas last year it was still daylight, which I think contributed to me going the wrong way a few times, and I spent the last 5 miles or so practically walking with another runner whose headtorch really wasn't sufficient for pitch black trail running, so he could use my light. So, it wasn't the fun experience that I'd had the year before, and I was slower, but by default, as only four women started in the 9am wave, I managed to take home a trophy for 2nd Woman after finishing in 13:21 and it's one of the loveliest trophies I've ever seen.

A 40 mile run on a treadmill. 

I volunteered to be a participant  in a PhD study being conducted at Kingston University into the physiological effects of ultra running. I did a VO2 Max test, had bloods taken, saliva tests, went into one of the chambers that accurately measures your body fat percentage, and then ran for 40 miles on a treadmill, while all sorts of other statistics were measured - pace, heartrate, calorie and fluid intake, weight loss during running, and I'm sure there were more.

It was an incredibly interesting thing to be involved with, and I'm very keen to see the results of the study, but running on the treadmill was absolutely horrendous. I really struggled! There was no natural light in the room, I was too hot, I was bored, my legs hurt, it was just so tough.  It was meant to be a 50 mile run but I took so much longer than I expected I had to call it a day at 40 so I could get home.

Having not run on a treadmill for some years, I don't think I'll be getting back on one any time soon!

Kent Coastal Marathon.

I was dreading this race, as I knew how unfit I was, and I've never been a fan of the course, but actually it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable marathons I've done. I paired up with my friend Rachel, who was returning after some time out too, and we covered the full 26.2 miles together, although lots of other friends ran with us along the way as well.

The weather was gorgeous, the sea side was absolutely picture perfect, and we stopped for ice-creams a couple of times, and just laughed, chatted, ran and walked the whole way around. Consequently, it was one of the slowest marathons I've ever done, at 5:31, but it was so relaxed and so much fun, I just didn't care about the time.

Our South American adventure
Francis and I went backpacking in Peru and Boliva for three and a half weeks and had an absolutely amazing time. I only ran once, in Lima on our second day after arriving, and it wasn't the prettiest 5 miles I've ever done, but more than made up for it when we went trekking in the Andes, over the Salkantay mountain pass, to Machu Picchu, which is about 38 miles. We also climbed the mountain at Machu Picchu (Waynapicchu) as well as trekking through the Amazon in Bolvia. So altitude, heat and humidity training!  Most of our trekking in the mountains was at about 3,500m, going up to 4,500m, and it was tough - I've never been at altitude before - but it was such a great experience. It's a stunning part of the world!

Chelmsford Marathon.
This was yesterday's race. I had hoped that our exertions on holiday would be good alternative training but unfortunately it turns out trekking isn't the same as running, as I found the marathon tough going...in fact I thought I was going to die at any point through the first 6 miles. Luckily, my body started to remember how to run and breathe at the same time, and I was much more comfortable at 10 miles, and by 18 miles I was starting to enjoy myself and was running pretty strongly. There were quite a few friends out on the course which is always great, especially as some were returning well from injury, and some ran absolutely brilliant times including a couple of PBs, and I spent a lovely couple of miles at the end running at chatting with 100 Marathon Clubber, Anna.

Although I had a negative split, it took me 4:44 to finish. I'm aching this morning too which is very unusual for me after a marathon...it's just a sign of no training so need to rectify that!

Chelsmford was also my last race in my "24 ultras and marathons in 12 months" challenge, that I have been doing to raise money for the Saint Francis Hospice who helped us when my wonderful father-in-law Roger was diagnosed with cancer last year, and then passed away less than a month later.
 

I'm really proud to have completed this challenge, and to have included such big races (namely TP100 and GUCR), and of course glad to have raised some much needed funds for the hospice to say "thank-you". The total currently stands at £2,069 plus gift aid.

If you'd like to donate, there's still time to support me and the hospice - my justgiving page will remain open until early December.

 



When you just don't want to run any more

It’s fair to say that I’ve never enjoyed “training” and in fact, I do very, very little of it - I often struggle to go running during the working week and when I do go out, my goal is usually just measured in miles. Tempo runs, hill repeats, fartlek...they're all on that list of things I should be doing but don't, like stretching and strength work. To be honest my running life is really just about constantly feeling guilty about not going for a run and lurching miraculously from race to race.

 

Having just gone through my spreadsheet where I record the runs I do manage, I realise I do even less than I had thought. From January this year, I see that between Monday and Friday, although some weeks I ran three or four times, on most weeks I ran much less or not at all. On average I clocked up just one run, completing an average distance of 5 miles. When you think that my weekly average since January is 38 mpw, with some weeks at zero miles and my three biggest weeks at over 100 miles, you can see how inconsistent my training is! As a comparison, last year my Monday to Friday average was 1.4 runs, with an average distance of 10 miles over the 5 days, and a weekly average of 32 mpw, with only one week at over 100 miles.

 

Anyway, enough of the stats. This last couple of weeks things have got even worse. Not only have I struggled during the week, I also totally lost interest in running on Saturday and Sunday. Since the emotional high of my fantastic weekend at the Saffron Trail ultra, I ran once in two weeks, and I even missed a marathon I had scheduled.

 

I just could not be bothered. I ate copious amounts of junk food too - not sure I've ever eaten so much chocolate in a week, and I felt lethargic and miserable. As much as I told myself, and my husband, and twitter, that I really had to go for a run, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t drag myself out of bed in the morning, and when I got home from work I was welded to the sofa. “But I must go for a run, I must go for a run”, I kept telling myself and I thought about how I was failing. Yes, FAILURE. It’s probably the thing that scares me the most. All in all, I was going through a period of what I think we generally refer to as a total loss of mojo.

 

I’d finish off every day adjusting my spreadsheet to record another missed run, feeling guilty and perplexed. Was I going to ever run again? Did I care if I wasn’t? I’ve just booked to have a big tattoo done, to symbolise my running...should I cancel it? I have a 100km booked on 15th August that I've been looking forward to all year. Would I even turn up, and if I did, would I crash and burn half way through as a result of my total lack of mileage? I wasn't sure what was going on in my head but I found it very confusing.

 

I got lots of support and some helpful advice from twitter though.  The best advice was to just let it go - stop worrying, stop feeling guilty, stop looking at the training plan. If it's meant to be, one day I’d just want to go for a run. There was also the advice to just go for a walk – find a great trail and get outside.

 

So, on Saturday, the day I DNS’ed my marathon, I decided to stop thinking about running. I let go of the guilt, and accepted that I didn’t want to run, and that that was OK. No pressure. We went to a beer festival instead and on Sunday, I took the dog for a walk. Didn’t wear my trainers, just my Merrell sandals. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon and I decided to head for a footpath sign that I’d seen recently while in the car, and follow it to wherever it went. Turns out, it led to a beautiful cross country trail.

We crossed crop and sheep fields, meadows and walked through shady woodland – all in the space of just a few miles - and it really reminded me how very lovely it is to be outside. Chewie was bounding around and clearly enjoying himself…after a while I decided to join him as he ran.
 

We ran quite a bit actually. According to my Fitbit, my heart rate was elevated enough for me to think I probably ran for about 20 minutes. In my sandals, my denim shorts and t-shirt…no expectations, no blisters to worry about, no lycra to feel self-conscious in, just running for the love of the feeling of it. Relaxed, the sun shining, my heart pounding, the rush of chemicals through my brain that said, actually this is amazing. Why doesn’t every one get out and do this? The freedom. The fun of it! We didn’t see another soul and I was so happy.

 

On Monday night after work, after dinner, we were sat on the sofa again, watching TV again.

 

I decided to go and get changed. Instead of putting on the usual lounging around clothes, I opened one of my many drawers stuffed with running kit. Then I found some running socks. I pulled on my trainers. Without having thought about it at all, just concentrating on the easy steps of putting on my gear, I found myself standing by an open front door at 10.30pm. I still didn’t particularly want to go for a dull pavement run, but it just felt like the right thing to do. I was all ready so might as well go out and see what happened - with a nudge in the back from Francis, I was gone.

 

I did 6.5 miles, and I went quickly. Faster (for the first few miles at least) than I’ve run in a long time. As I hadn't planned to go out, I hadn't charged up my watch, so don't know how what my pace was, but I was so pleased with myself for having done it, and felt so happy that my legs hadn’t turned to mush after a fortnight off. It was exhilarating being out in the dark.

 

Yesterday, as soon as I got home from work, I went out again. This time, I decided to take advantage of the day light, and I took another new trail I’d discovered on the viewranger app, which started just a mile from the house. It linked up with the path I’d found on Sunday and I was out again in the fields asking myself why on earth I’ve put up with 10pm pavement runs for so long when the beautiful countryside is right on my doorstep! It was a beautiful evening and I loved it…totally motivating.

 

So there we go. It seems I’m back! We're only on Wednesday and I've already done more than twice my Monday to Friday average mileage, and am planning to go out again this evening. Looking forward to it even. So what was the trick? How did I rediscover my mojo? I don't really know to be honest.

 

The advice that resonated most was that it was ok if I didn't want to run. That I could allow myself not to, that I could choose. I think I'm starting to realise there's been quite a lot of pressure over the last few months - there was so much scrutiny over my runs at TP100 and GUCR that I somehow feel I have to keep upping my game in some way. But I don't.

 

I have nothing to prove. I must stop feeling permanently guilty and just remember why I love to run.

  

"I run to see how far I can go...

I run because if I didn’t, I’d be sluggish and glum and spend too much time on the couch. 

I run to breathe the fresh air. I run to explore. I run to escape the ordinary...

I run for the finish line and to savor the trip along the way."

 - Dean Karnazes -