A well needed pep-talk!

For some reason, today I'm being flooded by self-doubt.

I'm planning all of these great things for 2012, but I wonder whether I'm expecting too much of myself.  I was so positive and excited just yesterday but this morning I can't get the questions out of my head - can I really double my mileage compared to last year and can I really run an ultra?  Am I committed enough, physically capable, mentally strong enough...am I good enough to really make this happen?

I get so much support on twitter that at times I do believe I can reach my goals, and I see other people achieving phenomenal success in challenges that are much harder than anything I'm aiming for, so I know great things can be done...right now though, I'm just not sure whether they can be done by me!

However, as every endurance runner knows, a large part of being successful is having the psychological strength to keep going when your body tells you it's had enough.  I call myself a runner, so I need to start thinking like one - I can't fall at the first hurdle and fail through a lack of mental fortitude! So, self-doubt or not, I have to just get out and get on with it, and give my training and my ultra a damn good go and prove to myself that I am good enough to do this!

Runner's World and me

I've been looking through my blog stats, and saw I was getting some traffic from the Runner's World website...which is very unusual!  After a bit of research, I realised that I'd been mentioned in an article they did about the 2011 Holiday Running Streak.  I've copied the whole article below, as it's interesting to see what everyone else thought about the streak...you need to scroll down a fair bit to get to my contribution :)

#RWRunStreak All the Way Across the Internet

December 29, 2011 6:00 am
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By Meghan G. Loftus

Our 2011 Holiday Running Streak is nearly over--just three runs left, after today's!--and we've been so impressed with the huge response to our challenge.

In addition to the streakers we initially introduced, and those you met two weeks into the challenge, even more bloggers have been filling the internet with tales of their #RWRunStreak.

Got some time to kill at work? (Let's face it--there's not much work to be done this week, anyway.) Check out these streak-inspired posts.

Have you seen one we missed? Leave it in the comments.

A Healthy Dad - Brandon
"With 27 days left in 2011 – which means 27 days of running, thanks to my run streak – I need to average just under 3 miles per day to meet my goal. I think that’s totally doable, especially considering that on the weekends, I typically get in at least one longer run that will bring up my average considerably. 1000 miles or bust!"

Chick Named Chuck - Chuck
"I’m not going to lie, I kind of, sort of, love this challenge way too much. There’s no hemming and hawing over whether or not to run today. The answer is already decided."

Fear of Bananas - Stephanie
"I’m holding strong with my run streak. Yesterday morning I got out and got it done first thing in the morning. It was quite lovely actually."

Momster on the Run - Ann
"I'm giving all of the credit for my 4 mile PR today to the Runners' World Holiday Run Streak! Since Thanksgiving, I've been running at least 1 mile per day, and it is paying off already!"

Running Because I Can - David H.
"In these last two weeks I’ll continue to hit milestones I’ve never seen with the most miles ever in a year and my most consecutive running days."

Running Los Annegeles - Anne
"I really didn’t want my streak to end but since it was late and our stomachs were full I didn’t think it would be possible to get our mile in. Mike came to the rescue and decided we would drive to Ocean Avenue and run along the street which overlooks the ocean and Santa Monica pier. Our run had amazing views and we completed 1 mile at 11:45 PM to continue the streak to 15 days!"

Run Damnit! - Cindy
"I’m learning more & more about myself, my running philosophy, my typical excuses, my motivators and my pace! Truly a great experience! I know for a fact that I will run more in the New Year than I ever have in the past. Although I admit to being excited for a day off…”

Strides Against Narcolepsy - Heather
"Much like my trail run, my running streak has come with obstacles. Shin splints are super annoying and almost brought me to a halt on more than one occasion. My biggest hurdle has been my day to day struggle with narcolepsy."

These Days, I Call Myself a Runner - Naomi
"Trying this run streak has given me a newfound motivation for the days when I don't really fancy going out (which is good as the weather has been awful recently!) and my fitness is improving much more quickly than it would have been had I been training four times a week."

Twelve in Twelve - Ann
"When I suggested the Run Streak a month ago, I had no idea it would yield these results. I thought I would log my 1 mile and be done. I didn’t expect that I would actually develop a habit of running. And I certainly didn’t expect I would start to enjoy running."

Yes, Folks. I Run Like a Girl - Beth
"Never try to run a mile after two shots of tequila and a plate of nachos referred to as 'dinner.' No matter how wedded you are to the idea of run-streaking, this is a BAD IDEA."

Setting goals for the year ahead

2012 is a really important year for my running, and I have some really challenging goals that are no doubt going to take a huge amount of time and dedication to achieve (as well as a truck load of understanding from my friends and family... particularly Francis!).

I want to record my goals here so I can really see what I'm working towards...and I have something to look back on at the end of the year!

1) Run a sub 4hr marathon
I'm running the Brighton marathon for the first time in April 2012, Halstead again in May, and will possibly run the Kent Coastal in September.  If I can run sub4hrs, I'll feel that I've made it as a marathon runner - it might not be good enough for Boston qualifying, but for me, it's a really significant time.

2) Complete my first ultra-marathon
I'm taking part in the ChallengeHub 50 mile run near Canterbury in July 2012, to coincide with my 30th birthday.  It's laps of 6.55 miles so works out at just over 52 miles if you complete the whole course, and there is a cut-off time of 15 hours.  My target is to finish the full distance within 12 hours.  The training for this is going to be unlike anything I've experienced before, and will take my weekly mileage higher than I would have thought I was capable of - hopefully, I'll prove that I can do it!

3) Cover 2012 miles in 2012
When I initially signed up for this challenge, I was planning on running the full 2012 miles, and I have a training schedule already written up that gets me to the 2012.  However, I will be incredibly surprised if I actually manage it...if I have a week off sick or injured, or we go on another holiday where I can't run, it'll go out of the window!  However, I am still going to make it my goal to complete the distance, but will count miles biked as well as miles run.

4) Weight-loss
This is one of those goals that people up and down the country will be thinking about right now, and although I don't want to be jumping on any bandwagon, I have restarted Weight-watchers today, and am determined (again, as ever!) to get to my goal weight and lose another 20lbs.  I lost that much last year, there's no reason why I can't keep going - losing weight means faster times and less stress on my joints, as well as looking better in the lycra...so why wouldn't I do it?! Well, because when it comes to food I easily lose control and this is probably the hardest of all of my goals to complete.

Starting weight today: 153lbs.  Goal weight: 133lbs.

Wish me luck ;)

It's not only running

Sometimes I go out on the bike too, usually with Francis.  

It was a beautiful day today, so off we went!

A successful year

I'll apologise for this post in advance...

I know that it's really self indulgent, and I'm blowing my own trumpet a bit but I'm so proud of how 2011 has gone, I just want to record my highlights, and really reflect on how far I've come this year, which will hopefully inspire me to do even better in 2012 ;)

1001 miles in 2011

I did it...I ran 1001 miles!  It took a hell of a lot of effort in December to get there but on New Year's Eve, I actually hit the magic number! And just because I'm a geek, below is the chart, showing how I did it, with miles per month....

Races and PBs
I ran 12 races in 2011, which is what I had set out to do, one for every month :) I really enjoyed them, and racing is what it's all about for me.

At the beginning of the year, my aim was to run a sub 4:30 marathon and a sub 2hr half marathon. 

My first marathon attempt back in April 2008 at London was 5:00hrs, and then my first of 2011, London again, was a 4:55 - you can see I hadn't improved much! However, I'm elated that in 2011 I did improve, and by the end of the year, I had achieved my aims:

I ran 4:09 in the Kent Coastal Marathon in September and 1:53 in the Bedford Harriers Half in December!  

I never believed I could run these times or get so much quicker in a year, and it makes me so excited about what I might be able to achieve in 2012!

Run Streak
I successfully completed the Runner's World Holiday Run Streak - running every single day from Thanksgiving to New Year, clocking up a total of 220 miles!  My mileage was through the roof (for me) during this time, and I never thought I would have the commitment or determination to run every day over the holiday season, but I did, I have, and I'm so proud that I kept going, even when I really didn't want to go out.  Hopefully this will give me a good grounding for my ultra training this year!

Weight loss

February 2010: I weighed 176lbs (12 stone 8lbs).  

February 2011: I was at 165lbs (11 stone 11lbs). 

June 20011, I started following the Weight-watchers plan

*September 2011 - I got down to 146lbs, 10 stone 6lbs!

At my heaviest, in about 2001, I weighed nearly 200lbs (about 14 stone) and losing weight has been an ongoing struggle for me for many years!  I've lost a bit of weight on a crash diet, put it back, lost it again.  However, I'm particularly proud of my weight loss in 2011, as I did it sensibly, healthily and 146lbs is the lightest I have been since my early teens!  

I am however very annoyed with myself that after coming off the Weight-watchers plan in September during our Madagascar trip, and then indulging far too much over Christmas, I have put back on 7lbs and start 2012 at 153lbs (10 stone 13lbs).  However, I know that I can lose weight successfully, and I'm starting again on Weight-watchers today, this time determined to lose those lbs, and a few more, so next year will be the year I get to goal...and am especially motivated as I'm sure losing the weight is a massive contributor to my PBs and will only help my times in 2012!