Life-changing times

It's been a strange few weeks...all rather unsettling, and I feel like I'm going through a bit of a personal crisis.

No, not being pregnant itself (I'm actually quite enjoying that, despite the various aches and pains and constant worry that's associated with it) but the ever increasing separation I feel from my life as a runner.

The last time I ran was nearly 10 weeks ago. Since then, I have manned check points at both the Thames Path 100 miler, and GUCR, and I absolutely loved both experiences. Both were overnight shifts in excess of 12 hours, and it was a privilege the help the runners as best I could, and to see some truly gritty performances as they battled through epic levels of pain to complete their goals. They were also great learning experiences as I had the chance the see lots of different race strategies and kit choices! However, I'm now too pregnant to be able to support at checkpoints - standing for long periods of time isn't really an option, and I get exhausted pretty easily. I would probably be more of a hindrance than a help.

So, although I'm still trying to remain active through walking, and I will soon be going for my first swim in my new maternity costume, I am starting to feel less and less like part of the community, as I no longer share the focus of training, recovery and commitment to the weekly mileage. I'm still following everyone's exploits on twitter and facebook, but I'm not seeing anyone in person at races, and I'm not finding myself as engaged as I was, feeling that I don't really have much to add to conversations about races, or kit, or injury... My focus is becoming more insular I suppose, as I start to prepare, emotionally and practically, for the arrive of our twins.

This scares me.

For the past 6 years I have defined myself as a runner. Running has changed me, for the better, in many ways, and the running community has been a wonderful support network and has enriched my life. I feel I have made true friends though my running, but that I am now starting to lose some of those connections, and some sense of myself. I know that inevitably I am going to become "mum" as well as "Naomi", but it's incredibly important to me that that the one doesn't cancel out the other.

I know in my heart that in the grand scheme of things, the next six or seven months will pass incredibly quickly, and I shouldn't wish this very special time away. I know that my children are going to become the most important thing in my life, and that my priorities are inevitably going to be very different once they are born. This is as it should be and I'm realistic enough to realise that 145 mile ultras may be out of the question for the foreseeable future, but marathon training is much easier to schedule.

I just hope that by the time I am physically capable of a return to training, I haven't lost the desire, and I haven't forgotten that I'm a runner as well as a mum.

I have more that I want to achieve...there's more that I know I can achieve.

I want to set a great example to my children.

I need to do all I can to be healthy...in mind as well as body.

Running will give me all of those things, and I have to make sure I don't allow myself to forget how life-changing it was the first time I became a runner.

Ultra runners in training

My first baby purchase, to go with our first pictures from my scan yesterday, at 13 weeks 3 days.

It's going to be at least a year until our twins are big enough to wear these babygrows...but I just couldn't resist.

Many thanks to Centurion Running!!

A DNS at Viking Way to prepare for an even bigger challenge

Written on 10th April. 

For the last ten months, my goal race has been the 147 mile Viking Way ultra.

So many of you supported me in this most crazy of goals, seemingly equally impressed with the scale and challenge of the event and with my evident madness in wanting to take it on. I really appreciated the belief that everyone had in me! My training was going well, and I was feeling very confident about how I was going to do in the race.

View from the 50 mile checkpoint in Fulletby.

But, I decided not to run - I dropped out the week before the race.

I volunteered to crew instead, and spent the Saturday evening and night stood in the cold, the wind, and then the rain, following by a bright and sunny Sunday morning, thoroughly enjoying myself, trying as best I could to help some of the most incredible, hard-core runners I've ever had the pleasure to meet. It convinced me, that one day, I would go back to run the Viking. It is a truly epic race.

So, why didn't I run?

Well, here's the news...Francis and I found out that I'm pregnant!! :D We've been married for three years now but together for ten - we're so excited about this next adventure! But if that wasn't news enough...it gets more exciting...we're having twins!!

The beautiful peacock medal from
Larmer Tree

We now know that I ran my last race, the fabulous, best 26.6 miles I've ever run, beautiful Larmer Tree Marathon, while in the very early stages of my pregnancy, back in February. It was too early for a positive result on a pregnancy test at the time but I definitely suspected, and it was tough! It's quite a hilly race (2,433 feet elevation gain) but even on the flat sections I found myself a bit breathless, struggling more than I'd expected to, and walking a lot, finishing in 4:58. I loved it though and I am very happy with the concept that it was baby's first marathon! However, it showed me that never mind the inherent risk to the pregnancy, it would have been absolutely impossible for me to run 147 miles. Feeling sick and tired before you even start running really wouldn't have helped either!

Although incredibly happy about the double baby news, I'm disappointed to have missed Viking Way, and I've also pulled out from the other big races I'd planned for this year - GUCR and the Centurion 100 mile Grand Slam, and obviously wont be hitting my 100th marathon in 2016 as I'd planned. I doubt there are many who understand this but after so much thought, preparation and expectation, I've found it a bit hard to get my head around the fact that I'll not be running these races. I've volunteered to crew them instead, and will try to make sure I stay part of the race scene that has become such an important part of my life.

I've also found, that despite my strongest intention that when I fell pregnant I would be one of those women who ran all the way through, I have found myself unable to run these last few weeks. The exhaustion that seems to come with growing twins has left me wiped out after a day at work, and needing to rest after a walk, never mind anything more strenuous. I've decided though not to worry about that and just enjoy my pregnancy and see how things go over the next few weeks.

We had the first scan this week, and the babies are due at the end of November. We've started telling friends and family, and although I know it's earlier than most people would share the news (we still have weeks to go until the 12 week milestone), everything looked good on the scan, and hopefully all will be well with them both.

So, although I thought this year was going to be full of running challenges, now I need to start preparing myself for the biggest life challenge of all - becoming a mum, becoming a mum of two...and becoming a mum who runs!

Larmer Tree Marathon

A video from what must be one of my favourite ever marathons. The scenery was stunning, the course was perfect, the medal beautiful. I had a wonderful day out.

The Larmer Tree.

Coverage of the actual running starts at about 2 minutes in...

Many miles, three medals and a plate

My preparation for the Viking Way is really going well and I'm just loving running at the moment.

In the last two weeks, I've added a fair weight of bling to my collection, completing two marathons and an ultra. I ran my fastest marathon for 4 years (a negative-split 4:06) at the 100 Marathon Club's AGM Marathon, ran 5 laps of the Deal seawall at the Marathon Day Marathon and finished as 2nd Lady at yesterday's St Peter's Way 45 miler which runs cross country along an ancient pilgrimage route through Essex. I've racked up over 150 miles during the fortnight, and apart from an Achilles niggle over the weekend, my legs are feeling surprisingly good. Whether this is the right way of preparing for a non-stop 147 mile race I don't really know, but we shall soon see!

Marathon Day Marathon medal

100 Marathon Club's AGM Marathon medal

St Peter's Way medal & 2nd Lady trophy

I've surprised myself by really enjoying some commute runs through London, accompanied by some beautiful sunsets, and have managed to fit in some much longer mid-week runs than I would usually find the time for. Changing from running at 10pm to getting out straight after work has made a really big difference and, with Francis being very understanding about my later arrival time at home after work, it's has made fitting in training much easier.

The Thames!
This photo didn't nearly capture how beautiful sunset was

Yesterday's St. Peter's Way race, put on by Challenge Running, is one of my favourites, and this year was my fourth running of it. We were lucky with the weather and underfoot conditions - it's usually ridiculously muddy - and although there was no course record, it lent itself to a faster than usual day out. Everyone gets a bit lost on this race, although I'm always surprised at how easily some manage it. I only missed one gate this year but luckily realised and didn't add on any extra miles - it was surprising though how much of the route I didn't remember. You really need to pay attention to the route instructions on this race!

I finished over 40 minutes faster than last year, in 8:03, which I'm incredibly pleased with, especially as I ran without a watch, just on feel. If I had been clocking my time, I think I could have probably got a sub-8, but not to worry - I'm more than happy with what I achieved and how I felt throughout the race. I'll be back again next year for my 5th go - maybe I'll train up specifically for that one (and not tack it onto the end of my biggest mileage week for months) so I can try and get to the top step of the podium!

Next up though, is the excitement of my first international race in Cyprus, which is this weekend. It's my 90th marathon/ultra, and I'm really looking forward to it. Although the trip is focused on the marathon, we're extending our visit and spending a week out there for a mini-holiday, so lots of sunny runs by the sea await me next week. Just a few days at work to get out of the way first...